The German Shepherd is one of the most impressive and formidable dog breeds on the planet. With their razor-sharp intellect and incredible athleticism, it’s no wonder these dogs are commonly used by police departments and militaries all over the world. After all, there are few things more terrifying than the sight of a ticked-off German Shepherd chasing down their quarry.
Of course, as anyone who’s ever owned one of these dogs will also tell you, they’re incredibly goofy.
With that in mind, what better way to celebrate this wonderful breed than with the 21st century’s most dominant art form? Here, you’ll find some of the funniest (and most accurate) German Shepherd memes on the internet. Enjoy!
1.They’re Lovers, Not Fighters
While the German Shepherd’s teeth might garner most of the notoriety, anyone who’s ever been around one can tell you that it’s really their tongue that you have to worry about. They do love to kiss you — especially after they’ve been licking their butts or drinking out of the toilet.
2.If You Run Out of Land Mines, Grab a German Shepherd
One of the greatest things about these dogs is how they’ve generously agreed to let us live in their houses with them. All we have to do is step over them every time we need to get somewhere. In a paradox that has stumped quantum physicists for decades, it’s possible for a single German Shepherd to exist on every single part of your floor simultaneously.
3.They Take Playtime Seriously
To you, it’s just a game of fetch. To your German Shepherd, it’s a life-and-death struggle against a diabolical tennis ball that would gladly murder their entire family if given a chance. So, when you only pretend to throw it, it makes your little buddy start to question whose side you’re really on.
4.Things Have a Bad Habit of Mysteriously Exploding When a German Shepherd’s Around
Beds, couches, shoes, baby toys — these are just a few of the items that have been known to mysteriously explode in households where German Shepherds live. No one knows what otherworldly forces cause these items to suddenly disintegrate into a thousand little pieces, but whatever it is, it’s incredibly sneaky because if you ask your German Shepherd, they’ll tell you that they didn’t see a thing.
5.German Shepherds Are All Business When It Comes to Protecting Their Families
While German Shepherds might be big and goofy, don’t mess with their humans — they don’t like that. These dogs will do anything to protect their families, so if you want to act like a bad man, don’t be surprised if you end up running like a scared man instead.
6.They Take Downtime Seriously Too
You talked big before you got your German Shepherd. You said that they’d never be allowed on the furniture, and they certainly wouldn’t be allowed on your bed. Somewhere along the line, though, everything fell apart, and now you spend your nights curling your entire body into a 2-foot chunk of the bed, praying that the dog that has their feet in your ribs doesn’t have the dream where they’re chasing the rabbit again.
7.No, Seriously — Don’t Mess With Their Downtime
Your German Shepherd works extremely hard protecting your family from murderers, kidnappers, arsonists, and worst of all, mail carriers. Is it too much to ask in return that you keep it down and let them get a measly 23 hours of sleep?
8.They Make Great Emotional Support Animals
You can tell a German Shepherd anything, and you can rest assured that your secret is safe with them. That’s partially because they’re great listeners and partially because they love you more than anything in the world, but mostly because they weren’t paying attention, anyway — they were hoping that you’d make them a cheeseburger.
9.The Most Interesting Dogs in the World
Your German Shepherd is a good dog. They’re well-trained and they wouldn’t dream of disobeying you. However, sometimes, on rare occasions, their self-control slips a little bit, and they find themselves — completely by accident — with their paws on the counter and your dinner in their mouth. It’s probably for the best, though; after all, that steak could’ve been poisoned (and could’ve been a bit bigger too, if they’re being honest).
10.Secretly, They All Want to Be Interior Decorators
Your German Shepherd is too polite to say anything, but deep down, they hate all your design choices. If you’d just let them, they could decorate your house much better than you ever could. For example, they’re picturing the living room covered in stuffed animal innards, the bedroom sprinkled with a light dusting of chewed-up shoe, and a classy yet understated doggy door on the refrigerator.
11.Nothing Gets Past a German Shepherd
One of the reasons that these dogs are so popular with police departments and the military is the fact that they see and hear everything. Nothing is too subtle to avoid detection — they could hear a cricket burp from 200 yards away. What do you mean you’ve been trying to get them to come inside for the past 20 minutes? They never heard a thing!